As the Banner Suggests...
The easiest way to heal yourself is going to be through the use of either magic (Through the team's Priest, Druid, or other healer), or potions. However, because you're a god damned adventurer, and you'll probably just end up shouting something along the lines of, "My great aunt Shirley has been hit by stronger!" every time you get hit... And then limp away cursing if you don't have an on-job healer, you can still recover! Like in real life wounds can and will heal over time. You're probably sitting there shouting, "But I don't have two weeks to wait for this damned Paper Cut of Mortal Agony +9 to go away!" Fret not! For you are a hero god damn it, and damn "natural healing" to whatever hell you believe in, you heal like an adventurer! Here is a convenient list on frequent injuries and how the typical hero deals with them.
Do realize, however, that when I say these wounds will heal, I mean that they will stop festering and/or bleeding. You will still be missing the HP.
Typically, only major injuries will result in any kind of mention, and only a large mass of small injuries or the heavy duty will result in any kind of major stat damage.
Do realize, however, that when I say these wounds will heal, I mean that they will stop festering and/or bleeding. You will still be missing the HP.
Typically, only major injuries will result in any kind of mention, and only a large mass of small injuries or the heavy duty will result in any kind of major stat damage.
Common Injuries
- Broken Bone - Undressed, you're a hero god damn it! You WILL that thing back into place! Don't use it for 24 hours and all you'll feel is a bit of soreness. Dressed - That thing will heal no matter what you do with it, so long as your don't go karate chopping Minotaurs again, your arm, leg, rib, or whatever else will be fine in 12 hours. Results in lowered maximum HP, as well as very little use of that limb.
- Open Wound (Less than 10 inches across, either way) - Undressed, Okay, that is going to sting for a while, maybe a week? But hey, it looks HELLA sick, screw the multiple diseases you'll probably catch. Dressed, that shit looks MANLY, and should be back to normal in 24 hours, sleep it off, soldier! Results in constant, though minor at most, bleeding damage.
- Hefty Gash (Greater than 10 inches across one way) - Undressed, That is DEFINITELY going to impress some ladies, and probably scar, but that just makes it even MANLIER. It probably won't completely heal, though, but think of the totally awesome Gang Green you'll get. Dressed, That shit don't matter, you're like a honey badger, YOU DON'T CARE. It should be fine in two days, tops. Results in medium though constant bleed damage.
- Massive Gash (Greater than ten inches both ways) - Undressed, That's just gross dude, put it away. That won't heal man, it just won't. No, ladies don't think it's impressive. Alright, maybe the orc ladies. Dressed, Okay, that is going to hurt... For a while. Four days for that to pull itself back together. Results in constant heavy bleeding damage, enough to kill a person if they don't get treated.
- Minor Stab (Less than an inch deep) - Undressed, That's an owwie at most for you. Sure, you might lose a bit of blood, but it should heal over in roughly three hours. Dressed, Are you really still complaining about this? With a bandage over it, that should heal over in only an hour. Results in minor bleed damage for a few hours.
- Major Stab (An inch to three inches deep) - Undressed, Alright, that's not something to ignore, but come on, you'll be fine in about six hours. Dressed, Well, that's nothing! Honestly, stop whining. It'll be fine in about two hours, three tops. Results in constant, heavy bleeding.
- Impaled (Greater than three inches deep) - Undressed, Well that's going to leave a mark, if it even heals at all. If it's less than an inch across, it'll heal in about a day. Dressed, wrap some bandages around there, maybe tuck some in if you're feeling kinky, and you'll be fine in about a day. You'll be dead within an hour if you can't find someone to heal you.
- Torn Ligament - Undressed, Oh hail no, that is NOT okay. Just like a broken bone, you DEMAND that shit get back in place. Damn body trying to do all kinds of crazy shit... It should be okay after 24 hours. Dressed, This shit is on the inside, just make sure no limbs it's connected to move, and it'll be good as new in four of five hours. Results in slowed movement or lowered attack rolls, depending on location.
- Chunk Missing - Undressed, Okay, you look like a jigsaw puzzle and someone lost a piece. This isn't healthy. That won't be healing in this world. Dressed, well it isn't going to grow back, like some kind of creepy ass lizard, but it is going to heal over in about two days, no more nasty for you! Results in heavy blood loss and high bleed damage, as well as usually a missing limb or two.
- Sword Slash - Undressed, That shit happens, you're used to it. That'll heal in a few hours, TOPS. Dressed, Basically once those bandages are on, you're good as new. Maybe wait half an hour though, just in case. Results in damage.
- Arrow/Spear - Undressed, You get hit by an arrow? Sorry to say, but you gotta push that shit FARTHER. You gotta yank it out head first, on the other side of ya's body, so nothing comes off in ya'. That hole isn't going to be healing very quickly. Dressed, it's a hole through your body, give it two days. Results in damage.
- Minor Burns (First and second degree) - Undressed, what the hell are you whining about? That's NOTHING. You just grabbed a hot pan or something. Give it a few hours. Dressed, You might as well have had a splinter and put a bandage over it, it'll heal in no time. Results in soreness.
- Major Burns (Third degree) - Undressed, Okay, I can see why you're whining, just go jump in a river or something. It'll heal in a day, maybe two. Dressed, You're just too hot for your own good at this point. That'll settle down and just be a bit red in about five hours. Results in burn damage and a minor weakness to fire.
- Severe Burns (Fourth Degree) - Undressed, That reaches the bone, you are NOT going to be walking away from this alright. That WON'T heal by itself. Dressed, That is pretty bad, just don't do anything with it and it should heal in about three days. Results in heavy burn damage and a heavy weakness to fire and heat.
- Frostbite - Believe it or not, you can't put a bandage on cold and expect it to be alright. Just warm up before anything turns an unnatural color and you're fine. Results in slowed movement, lowered dexterity, lowered constitution, and a possible loss of limb.
- Concussion - You're a hero, BANGING gives you a concussion! That shit's fine after a few minutes of stumbling around, tops. Results in lowered attack and action rolls.
- Missing Limb - How the HELL do you expect to dress that? You aren't a lizard, that injury's gonna take magic sparkles and shit. Results in the fact that you're missing your arm or leg. Heavy bleeding damage.
- Missing Head - How the FUCK are you reading this? You're dead. Results in death (typically).
Diseases
No, I'm not going to compile some list of every disease possible. But I will list a few common causes of diseases.
Rare Cases (5% of infection or less)
And there you go. If you find some other way to get infected, you are definitely trying.
Examples:
Bone Rot: Your bones become more brittle at first, and then after enough time has passed, they begin melting under your flesh, eventually leaving you as a blob of skin and organs if left untreated by a doctor.
Phoenix Fever: Your face feels hot, and fire seeps through your veins. Your blood now deals boiling damage to enemies, but eventually your organs shutdown from overheating.
Dragon Rash: Your skin becomes scaly and green, and you start smelling like a decomposing body. Eventually, the scales scar over and can be removed, but only after treatment.
Rare Cases (5% of infection or less)
- Uncleanliness - Yeah, that's actually a word
- Undressed wound - Put something over that, man, it's just gross.
- Eating severely uncooked meat - No, real men like sex raw, not meat. Get your facts straight.
- Bathing in the blood of your enemies, and possibly allies - Yeah, we know "But it's just so god-damned manly!" A lot of manly things don't end well for adventurers, because adventurers are BEYOND manly!
- Vermin - Like rats and spiders and shit.
- Giant Vermin - Giant rats, and giant spiders and shit.
- FUCKING HUGE Vermin - Yeah. Better to just leave these guys alone if you don't want a NASTY case of Ultra-GonoMegaSuperSyphloAIDS.
- Insects - Nobody likes these little fuckers for a reason.
- Swamps - That shit is nasty... And is probably full of shit.
- Poisons of disease - Yeah, these exist.
- Dead bodies - Poke it with a stick, not your finger.
- Infected by someone or something else with this disease - Nice job, you were REAL careful, weren't ya'?
And there you go. If you find some other way to get infected, you are definitely trying.
Examples:
Bone Rot: Your bones become more brittle at first, and then after enough time has passed, they begin melting under your flesh, eventually leaving you as a blob of skin and organs if left untreated by a doctor.
Phoenix Fever: Your face feels hot, and fire seeps through your veins. Your blood now deals boiling damage to enemies, but eventually your organs shutdown from overheating.
Dragon Rash: Your skin becomes scaly and green, and you start smelling like a decomposing body. Eventually, the scales scar over and can be removed, but only after treatment.
Poisons
Alright, poisons are fairly straight forward. Plants and shit are made into a liquid, applied to a weapon, and mess your shit up. They're usually straightforward and end after a very short amount of time, but they still find ways to fuck your shit up!
Poisons take on various, yet common forms, most will:
Poisons take on various, yet common forms, most will:
- Damage Stamina
- Damage Health
- Damage Mana
- Dull the target's senses
- Inflict drowsiness or even sleep
- Infect with a disease
- Corrode armor
- Lower the effectiveness of potions
- Lower resistance to other poisons, certain elements, physical attacks, mental attacks, magic, etc.
- Any mixture of the previous
I made this page with a lot of comedy, to make things easier to take. Thank you Rose for all of your ideas and helpful tips!